Thursday, November 13, 2008

10 Reasons Why You Should Stay In The Philippines

To further make light of our current situation, allow me to post MY reasons why you should stay in the Philippines. Let us do it ala count down mode:

Let's go:

You can go mall hopping without actually buying anything - Here, it doesn't matter if you linger in malls just to "cool off" in the air-conditioned mall interiors.

Cheap food is everywhere - Not for those who are squeamish. When you get hungry from the mall hopping. You don't need to spend a ton to stuff yourself. Just go out of the mall and make "tusok-tusok da pisbol" and do the "lagok da sago't gulaman" while listening to call center agents talking in taglish and you're done. Heck, you would even find Kikiam, Tokneneng, kwek-kwek and squid balls apart from the classics: balut, penoy, adidas, IUD, isaw, headset, earphones, betamax, etc. Believe me when I tell you the Filipino may leave the Philippines, but you can never take away the Philippines from a Filipino. When a friend came home from the U.S. after 13 years of living there in Los Angeles, one request of his just minutes upon landing was for me to bring him where we can buy ISAW.

You don’t need words to communicate - A simple nod from afar is all it takes to signify a hello. You can point using your lips. Invite someone to a drinking session by merely tipping your hand to your mouth as if holding an invisible glass or bottle. In a restaurant, you can ask the waiter for the bill by raising your hand or using a lighter and then draw a square with your fingers. Just don’t do this in fancy restos… hehehehe. There are many more body gestures that are universal, so even if you don’t speak the local dialect where you are at, you are sure to be understood.

You can stay in your parent’s house for as long as you like - Even when you are already working, more so if not. Sometimes, some even stay on after they are already married.

Even low-income families have maids or yaya’s - Well in my family, we don’t. However, I’m surprised that many, in spite of the current financial crisis, still have them, sometimes even having two. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

You can buy almost anything in “tingi” - The Philippines revolutionized retail. You can buy a stick of cigarette, one piece of candy, 3 in 1 coffee sachets, a teabag, a sachet of your toyo, patis and suka, even a sachet of shampoo and conditioner. Almost everything from your local sari-sari store. You can even get them on credit without using a credit card.

Running for public office, becoming a celebrity, or both, are surefire ways of leaving a life of poverty - It does not matter if you don’t have the capability or even the credentials, just as long as you look the part, you're in. Need I cite examples? Huwag na lang.

Everyone has a cell phone - Even your local magtataho or balut vendor has one. Heck, I’ve even seen a mendicant texting away in Quiapo once. Wr n u? Hr n me. Hehehe.

No matter what day of the year, people always find reasons to celebrate - It doesn’t matter if it’s someone’s birthday, any form of anniversary, death or whatever. Why not celebrate someone’s circumcision; after all, the Jews celebrate their BRIS. To make an example: 24 bottles of beer in a case, 24 hours in a day… Coincidence? I don’t think so.

And the number 1 reason why you should stay in the Philippines

Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional - Need I say more?



Ivy said...

I love it Noi!!! Perfecto!!!

Ay na-miss ko tuloy ang Pinas sobra... Miss ko yung making tusok tusok of the pisbol and making lagok of the sago't gulaman...Bwahahahaha

ang KULIT ng blog mo pero sobrang TRUE... ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES...

Naiyak tuloy ako....

Andro said...

Thanks Ivy.

Do take care of yourself there. Wala mang pisbol diyan o sago't gulaman, meron pa ring PAGKAIN.

Remember, eat to live, not live to eat. Hehehe

lee said...

namiss ko tuloy bigla satin.
nagulat ako dun sa comment mo...genkuro ikaw pala si andro???
jeeeez sorry my bad me no idea na ikaw pala si andro...congrats dre ang galing mong writer di sa pambobola nung una kong makita si amiel bumilib ako ng husto (then si kitty kasi yung pagiging witty nya)tapos ikaw bumilib din ako kasi yung mga tema ng pagsusulat nyo yung style humanga ako ng husto, dito lang pala kita matatagpuan langya lolz.

pmonchet said...

oo nga, kaya nga ayasw ko mag abroad. Dito nga lang ata ang mga stambay laging lashing.Halos lahat ng bahay ng karaoke.Ultimo squatter naka colored TV may cable channel pa.