Musings of an Empath

“An empath is a person with an ability to read and understand people and be in-tune with or resonate with others, voluntarily or involuntarily of one's empath capacity.” - Christel Broederlow (2002).

To expound, an empath is a person with a high sensitivity to sense feelings or emotions of people, or to some extent, even animals, plants, or can even have empathic attachments to inanimate or non-living things. Some can even experience higher forms of extra ability but not necessarily leading to or limited to Extra Sensory Perceptions (ESP).

With a handful of tests and writings about determining if one is an empath explaining what makes one an empath or not, I believe everyone can at one form or another exhibit an empathic experience or ability. It just so happens not all is attuned or adept as to what they have just experienced. An empathic flash or spark perhaps? Most commonly, they dismiss it as just a gut feel. Some individuals even force to “feel” something from someone falsely believing he/she is one when in fact, they are not. Most often than not, this leads to frustration or catastrophic results based on false readings or interpretations of whatever impression real or imagined he/she gets. However, there are natural born empaths. I happen to be one.

A born empath can easily recognize and sense everything around him/her. The folly is, not all natural born empaths knows they have this ability at the onset of the ability manifesting itself. Some even deny having this ability; consider it a curse, and try to shield themselves from the world. Those however, who fully accept and become adepts can experience a whole gamut of experiences which may or may not necessarily be their own. Still, some natural born empaths doesn’t exhibit the ability unless subjected to a very heavy dose of emotional, physical, or mental strain.

Empaths can get impressions differently, and in varying degrees or levels. Some can “feel” colors and get the impression of each color based on each type of emotion. Some see pictures; others can get them from scent, touch or feel, or even taste. However, to clarify, this has nothing to do with clairvoyance, although some empaths are also clairvoyants. Some are attuned to get a combination of the above, and even some can get them all at one blow. Pity to those empaths who can’t handle all impressions at once.

Empathy has no sense of time. Sometimes if a specific event is too strong and focused on constantly by a person most especially if the event is most special, dangerous, or most recent, an empath can easily pick that up too. Some empaths are also healers. Healers of minds and emotional pain. Others can even exhibit alleviating physical pain to a certain degree, but not totally.

Being a person with empathic ability, it is a matter of perspective if one can consider being one a curse or a blessing. I for one consider having this ability as a blessing although admittedly sometimes, I also consider it a curse especially when someone close to me lies. There have been times when I blankly point this out. Sometimes, even when one is not talking, I can sense when someone is hiding something. It now comes down to ones experience in dealing with human nature and social interaction how to address such occurrences when they manifest themselves.

Friends and family members often ask me, can this ability be learned. My truthful answer is both a yes and a no. I don’t even know why I have this nor can explain clearly how, but it’s there, and it’s very difficult for me not to use it. A learned empath can deal with human emotions based on what is given in real life and interactive situations. A true empath however can see beyond what is said, seen, or acknowledged. Simply put, one can see beyond what is. To cite an example, a learned empath can distinguish an apple from behind an opaque plate of glass based on what is perceived by the apple’s shape against the glass. A true empath will see the apple making the opaque glass clear or even dissolving the glass entirely thereby seeing the texture and color of the apple. Some gifted empaths can even go beyond and smell its fragrance depending on his/her adeptness. Further, some will even perceive that the apple is not an apple at all but something entirely different.

Empaths can sense negative emotions most easily. Pain and anger being at the top of the list. At par with positive emotions such as love and happiness. Further, carnal impressions are also quite strong and distinguishable immediately even for non-empaths. The difference however is that to an empath, one can sense the sincerity of such carnal impressions or just a mere trap in seduction.

Not all empaths can control or taper their abilities at will. This is a process that an empath must learn by either self-training, direct instruction from someone adept, or meditation. In my case, since I’ve identified my abilities early, the transition for me was easy but not without pitfalls along the way. We cannot just turn off our ability at will. The truth is, we can’t. Nevertheless, we can develop barriers to filter out the unwanted continued “noises” we receive. As said, the strongest we can perceive are love, happiness, pain, and anger.

For this reason, I hate going to hospitals and funerals, even just staying in the halls. The negative emotions are just too draining. Unless, I prepare myself well, I might get all unwanted impressions especially from one or many in pain or worse, the grieving. Weddings and celebrations are however welcomed since the sheer numbers of revelers outnumber those who are party-poopers. However, I must also add. That if my focus centers on one person in a negative manner, I can be affected strongly as well. The worse of this is I can channel all that negativity to others. So as much as possible, I avoid being in situations like these or else be the party-pooper.

Nothing is more emotionally painful, frustrating, and highly disappointing to an empath than that of a direct lie. This is most evident if the lie comes from people we care and trust. To an empath, our emotions are tied most strongly if that person is a loved one such as, a family member, a romantic partner, a lifetime friend, or even from someone we have developed a strong sense of affinity. Most often, a true empath will shield himself/herself from getting impressions from these people since we trust them implicitly. Empaths usually reserve their emotions and make others feel at ease and tending to their needs first, forgetting or putting their own in the back burner.

But there are situations when the impression is too strong that they cannot disregard it, and with reservation, ”pry” into that person. This of course will depend on the adeptness of the empath. Some even show physical manifestations if a lie is felt or said. Some have their body hairs stand, others feel warmth or heat, and others flush, blush, get a tingling or buzzing in the ears, a throbbing in the head, or a sudden change in disposition. I get one or a combination of these physical manifestations.

For an empath, the easiest people to "read" are those who are “transparent” in their dealings. People who show they are happy when they are truly happy, those who are transparently angry, the obviously sad and emotionally in pain, and of course those who are in physical pain. These people have already lifted a veil or mask for the empath to see clearly. A diversion from which however is easily distinguishable and although can be faked outwardly, the truth of which is very visible to an adept.

There have been many times when I also lost control. By being too naturally focused on the emotional needs of others, and putting my own aside. The repercussions are quite debilitating. This however can easily be remedied by focus and meditation. However, several months back, I was subjected to so much unexpressed anger and anxiety that I lost all control. Meditation and relaxation were useless. Even an attempt at catharsis seemed futile. I can feel everything around me. Even the tiniest ones.

In addition, it all came in at the same time, indistinguishable like a jumbled up collage of positive and negative emotions from all angles. I had no choice but to check myself off from anyone for a while. It took me more than a month to regain control with occasional slip-ups. But eventually I gained it back by first blocking everything out. At this point, I considered myself blind. During this process of blocking, I can’t “feel” or get impressions from anyone with effort in maintaining the block. But the underlying factor is that the ability is there and I will have to let it go again or suffer in another form. So slowly, I let it loose, layer by layer, with extreme caution. Now I am back to “my normal.” The plus factor in the ordeal, I am now more sensitive, but in control.

Just to put non-adepts at ease, empaths are not mind readers. We are very far from that. Actually, we can’t even be considered close or aligned to that of mind readers. We cannot read your thoughts but can feel or read the emotions arising from those thoughts. The closest example I can give based on my own is much like of a bat or a whale using sonar. They can send out the signal and not physically see what’s ahead, but get the echoes or impressions of the terrain depending on how strong or how far they send their sonar signal. The difference however, is we do not send most of the time, but constantly receive. And our range is dependent on how advanced our ability is. We are also not super creatures as what is depicted of us in science fiction and comics. Not all empaths can interpret what they "read" accurately most especially when the empath himself is in a vulnerable state of mind. Accuracy comes with time and practice as with any ability.

Can a non-adept person block out an empath from feeling or getting an impression from him/her? The answer is yes but with extreme difficulty. Any living creature has energy fields with varying degrees of strength, and all these are interconnected and highly perceptible to an adept empath. An adept will naturally be curious why he can’t feel or read a person. And it won’t take long before that person’s defense is breached, but only if the empath really would want to. As much as possible, an empath would like to not get any impression at all, for it means one less person contributing to silence.


NR-12192009

Losing Relationships

I empathize with anyone who is in pain and I truly understand what you are going through as of the moment. The best of us have undergone this situation one time or another in our lives. Just recently, I have been subjected to such an event. Not by my choice, mind you. Moreover, like all the others before it, it was not a pleasurable episode.

It is painful to put a strain on or even lose any kind of relationship especially when you have already invested considerable time, energy, and emotion into it. However, reality bites that sometimes, things just do not work the way we envisioned them to be. Nevertheless, should we wallow in sorrow and retreat ourselves into the darker recesses of our inner being when everything crumbles? My answer is an unequivocal, yes. In that particular time frame, one has all the right to be. For in our lonesome and in our darkness, we learn to look at ourselves from within and from another angle amidst the emptiness surrounding us.

At this stage, each of us has our own threshold of how long we stay on this level. The sooner we realize that we deserve something better than what we have in our temporary predicament, the sooner we emerge from the darkness like the mythical phoenix, reborn from the ashes of the past, and with the flames burning bright towards a better future.

"Move on", two words we commonly say, and hear people say when one chapter ends and another is on the wings. However, allow me to augment that, personally, "moving on" in itself is an inaccurate description of what we should do. For when we say move on, it simply illustrates the physical and mental state from one point to another. I say inaccurate, since saying "moving on" is an incomplete phrase. It simply says we move, but it does not say "where to." For we can say move on up, move on down, move on sideways, move on forward, or, even move on backwards.

I say my friend, make your move a more positive one, and state with conviction, "There is no other way for me to go but to move on forward. I am done being down, so along with that I will also move on up. Hello world, I am back!"

So keep on believing that there is someone out there we truly deserve to be with, and someone who deserves us. Also learn to say a silent prayer of thanks, that we live another day as the Creator intended for us. Thanking Him for the opportunity that we exist not because we need it, but we exist for the simple reason that someone out there needs us. We exist not just as an object of their affection, but also as their guiding light, and their angel on our short stay here on earth.

Note: Picture taken from the web.

The Written Word

Life has been very boring for me lately ever since my early retirement from the hussle and bussle of the corporate world. Yes, you read it right, "early retirement." Actually, in spite of my present boredom, I'm actually enjoying myself. With all the time in the world at my disposal, the liberation from work related stress and the daily commuting to and from the office. The commuting part was the least of my problems since I always took a cab every morning going to the salt mines. Going home is another matter since I almost always hung-out in and around the Makati commercial complex or wherever my vagabond spirit takes me, with or without company. I enjoy observing people in this time frame they call rush hour. If going to the office every morning is an obligation, going home is a chore. You see a woman lugging her groceries, a fellow irritatingly looking at his watch every ten seconds probably waiting for a date who is obviously late. Office girls unwinding in a nearby coffee shop talking about their bosses and the toxic day they had, or a group of gentlemen in a round of beer at a café and of course, the lines of people you see at the taxi stands, the bus, the colorum service vehicles and jeepneys. Such a cheap thrill you may say, but hey, I'm the one being thrilled by this activity and it's admittedly relaxing, well, for me at least.

So what has been my activity like after leaving the mines? To begin with, I immensely enjoy the extra thirty minutes in bed every morning, make that an hour. The leisure of taking longer showers, and enjoying coffee every morning. The time to play with our twelve dogs, reading novels, taking pictures, videos, time to be with family and friends. Blogging and commenting on blogs.

Ever since I can remember, the one activity I enjoy doing the most is reading. Sometimes I am amused when friends or family members will ask for my help in setting up their brand new electronic equipments when all the while help they need can be found right in the box it came with. Yes you guessed it, the user's manual. Some people almost always never give them a second glance others who do however can't seem to figure them out even with the illustrations it contain.

The written word holds such fascination for me especially if the writer is deftly astute in presenting an idea or proposition. Of course I also enjoy reading those who presents something with no frills, direct to the point, come as you are style. As of late, what grabs my attention is the vast information or disinformation one can get from the internet and the myriad of blogs. For a rabid and voracious reader like me, it's like manna from heaven. Would you believe there was even a time when I read different versions of the Holy Bible page per page from Genesis to Revelations? I would love to read the Qur'an if someone would care give or lend me a copy. I want the book though, not the online version. I'm not sure, but I think an Imam would not oblige something like that to a baptized Catholic like me.

A drop of ink may make a million think - Mark Twain

These days, one of my regular pastimes is reading and commenting on Blogs. I find it very healthy to read other peoples take on everything and anything. What tickles my fancy is the comments section these blogs have. Some people are very creative in giving an opinion on the blog posts, some helpful, some outright rude, stupid and illogical. Not one drop of ink spilt here. Here in cyberspace, all you have is the typed in words of someone who maybe is your next door neighbor or someone from a far flung place somewhere not even google earth has an aerial map of. But of course it would be idiotic if you believe everything you read from the net, like it is likewise stupid for anyone to take the news at face value unless it is live, caught on cam and actually happening in real time. With freedom, some unscrupulous writers opt to misinform or distort the facts for the benefit of someone who has the ability to shell pretty pennies for a PR job and pass it off as NEWS.

It is therefore important for a reader to discern what is a good read and what is not and how it will affect his or her life no matter what he or she has read. Each one of us have our own view of what should be wrong and what should be right, what is acceptable or not. A simple solution to this is, if you don't like what you are reading, stop, drop it and read something else. But bear in mind an argument you may incite will be weak if you have only one side to lean on. This I find in some blog comments wherein they are so shallow and the obvious inexperience of the commenter is shown right there in the written word. People, a blog is the free thought of the writer. If you have to disagree with what is written, be constructive, creative and civil with your comments. If you dare insult, be brave enough to identify yourself. After all, bear in mind that the blog owner has the power whether to publish your comments on his/her site. And if you are stupid enough to comment sarcastically, your words will be for naught and no else will see it aside from you and the blog owner. I am not washing hands, but I have been guilty of writing insulting comments before, not at the writer though, but at the subject of his/her blog topic. Most especially if the topic is of a truly despicable character in our society.

An example I can cite which caused considerable reaction, although not from blogs, which is still fresh in peoples mind is the book The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. I say the book, not the movie. First off, the book is fiction. Yes the book dealt with the belief of the Catholics that Jesus as a deity and the supposed existence of Jesus Christ's bloodline and His supposed marriage to Mary Magdalene who happens to be of royal blood and not a prostitute. A direct contradiction of what the Catholic church indoctrinates into its fold. It also points to many references to what Catholics now believe is so but are supposedly fabrications of the church leaders. As an added bonus, it also tackled the existence of a group, intent on preserving this bloodline. Read it again people, the book is fiction. So is it any wonder when the Santa Iglesia made a whole lot of bang against the book and its writer, the controversy sparked the curiosity of the reading public, hence, the increase in book sales to best seller status and even getting a movie deal. As a follow-up, the prequel of The Da Vinci Code (although it came after) also by Brown titled Angels & Demons was also a hit and will also come to the theaters sometime next year 2009. Needless to say, both books are thought compelling and a good read. The cause of all this? A FICTION novel. This is the Catholic version of what Salman Rushdie had several years earlier when he came out with his fourth novel entitled The Satanic Verses. What Rushdie got was not just flak and protests from the Muslim community and the literal public burning of his book copies but also a fatwa issued by the Ayatollah Khomeini against Rushdie calling on all Muslims to kill Rushdie and his publishers on sight. Up to now I must confess, I haven't read that book. The premise of the story is very salivating. Unfortunately, I can't find a copy.

To wrap things up, the written word like the wheel is one of the many inventions of man that has uplifted our lives, stirred imagination and further thought. From the simple to the most complex of construction, the written word has preserved history and points to a brighter and more informed future.